Lucidity

Losing Myself

I don't wanna cry for help
I don't wanna die this way
I'm looking inside myself
Never gonna change what's wrong

I’m sick of being lonely
I’m sick of losing people
If life is made of suffering then
I just made the sequel
They line up just to see it
They love it when I’m feeble
I’m dying with my secrets
This shit I sip is lethal
Lately I’ve been fallin' cause, nobody is callin' and
If I’m breaking down, by myself, it’s forgotten so
Maybe God forgot my soul, maybe I just lost it
The second it was possible, was cleanin’ out my closet
I fucking hate dependency, ditchin’ on some truancy
This shit is ironic cause, I need it so desperately
They don’t see me mentally, battle demons endlessly
Suicidal thoughts, take a bullet like I’m Kennedy
You wanna know the reason I’m not dead? Let me tell it
I told myself I’m worth it, really said it just to sell it
I was fucking stupid, I was dumb enough to buy it
I thought I had a purpose, now I’m wishin' that I tried it
I got expectations like a drunk has got his drink
Destined for that greatness but the pressure killin' me
I'm locked up in the basement, don’t you ever bother me
I wish I could erase it, all the thoughts and what I think

I don’t wanna cry for help
I don’t wanna die this way
I’m looking inside myself
Never gonna change what's wrong

I cover up my feelings, make myself the villain
I’m feelin' shit so deep, so I’m better off to kill it
I took apart my heart, haven’t seen it ever since
A machine with broken parts, every word is on a script
Every day is borrowed time, I pretend that I’m okay
If they saw it through my eyes, maybe everything would change
When I think about my history, that’s what really gets to me
Half of it is tragic, and the other half is slippin’ me
What’s the point of living if it’s never good enough?
I look at my existence, I don’t know what I’ve become
Battle my resistance, I could be a better person
But this cycle is so vicious, my sins are always lurkin'

I don’t wanna cry for help
I don’t wanna die this way
I’m looking inside myself
Never gonna change what's wrong

I don’t wanna cry for help
I don’t wanna die this way
I’m looking inside myself
Never gonna change what's wrong